Since my book DIVE RIGHT IN – THE SHARKS WON’T BITE was published nearly 25 years ago, I’ve been helping women launch and grow their businesses. I’ve seen lots of positive changes, but despite new opportunities, overall revenues for women-owned businesses have stagnated.
In fact, since 1997, revenues have actually decreased from 4.4% to 4.2% of all U.S. firms, according to an American Express commissioned report. What’s more, only 4.2% of women-owned enterprises ever reaches the million-dollar mark.
Why? That’s a tough question to answer. One cause is conscious – and unconscious— gender bias and stereotyping. We see this, particularly, when women are seeking start-up funding. But for this article, instead of focusing on outside barriers to success, I’d like to look at three of the personal traits that continue to derail women. These are traits that I first noticed while researching DIVE RIGHT IN – THE SHARKS WON’T BITE. Take a minute to see whether any of these attributes is inhibiting your success.
1. Perfectionism
One of the biggest problems I saw in the mid ‘90s with women wanting to start businesses was their inability to choose one business and focus on it. They would tell me about all of the businesses they wanted to launch but kept stalling. At first, I thought this was a commitment issue until I realized that it was a form of perfectionism. Everything had to be perfect before they would officially launch.
Today, I see this in the woman who won’t start a business until she has the perfect name for the company, the woman who won’t delegate tasks because she can do it better, or the woman who obsesses over the fact that a client complained about some minor glitch. Yes, the name of your company is important, but don’t let it keep you from launching. And doing everything yourself is a way to get it done perfectly, but it’s not the way to build a business. You need employees, partners, or outside help in order to grow. And, of course, you want satisfied customers, but don’t let something minor throw you off track
Women often blame themselves for minor imperfections. Don’t do that. You need to fix the problem and move on.
2. Money discomfort
For women, discussing money is often seen as unattractive and unladylike. When I was growing up, girls were often told “don’t worry your pretty little head about that.” I realize that it’s difficult to imagine someone being so politically incorrect today, but there are other ways that girls and women are taught that money is a messy topic, and it’s better for them to stay away from it. Often women internalize this message and act as if money is just too boring or difficult for them to think about. Or worse, the concept of financial success makes them feel guilty. Notice that I wrote “concept” because I don’t know any woman who has gained real financial independence who feels guilty about it. On the other hand, discomfort with money impacts business growth in countless ways, from setting fees and prices to controlling cash flow and seeking funding.
I recently spoke with a startup expert who told me that, in his experience, men are better than women at defending their numbers when they pitch investors. I believed him. His advice to women was to prepare carefully and to completely understand their cash flow projections. This is impossible, if the topic of money bores you, makes you feel guilty, unattractive, or hopelessly ill-at-ease. You must get over your discomfort with money, especially when you realize that gender bias regarding women and money is still alive and well in the business world.
3. The Likeability Mindset
Women have been socialized to be “liked” since time immemorial. Today, we recognize that the need to be liked often stands in the way of entrepreneurial success. The bottom line is simple: iIn business, it’s more important to be respected than to be liked, whether dealing with clients, employees, suppliers, or other stakeholders. And the good news is that being respected often means being liked as well.
I suggest that women pay attention to the “likeability” mindset in all business interactions, but especially during sales presentations for their own products or services. Too often women do everything they can to charm and please the perspective customer, but walk away without a deal. Some women even compare the sales meeting to dating, feeling rejected and unhappy when they don’t get the business. But a sales presentation is not about being liked (although, I admit, that it does help). Effective sales is about identifying a customer’s needs and providing solutions to his or her problems. Seeing yourself as a solution-provider is an important step to overcoming the likeability mindset and an essential ingredient in growing your business.
While we still have a long way to go, there’s lots of good news for women who want to start and grow their businesses. There’s an expanding number of consultants and coaches who work specifically with women; there are more books, online advice, and business organizations for women entrepreneurs than ever before; and there’s lots of fresh research that helps women understand how to succeed. If you’re ready to dive right in, now is the time to create a thriving business.
